(S)He Went Thataway

What causes siblings to be so different? One would think two sisters, two brothers, a brother and a sister--each pair from the same parents, same household, and same set of social, economic, religious and political influences would be more alike than different. Tain't necessarily so. One goes this way, the other thataway.

To readers who know my brother and I are temporarily sharing a household (we're a month from his moving into a nice home he and his carpenter pal have built from scratch), please note: I'm not speaking of my brother and me. God knows he and I are different enough, but not as markedly as the two siblings I learned about at my book group last night.

Let's call them Sue and Sally. Born two years apart. Sue is the big sister, Sally the little sister. Parents are poor mill workers in rural North Carolina. Family pressures are intense. The girls have the same angry parents, the same tattered wardrobe, the same crazy aunts and uncles, the same diet, the same schoolteachers. So what makes Sue turn to cocaine, prostitution and loss of her own children down the years, while Sally turns to creative writing, poetry and the life of academia?

Those are the facts as shared by last night's presenter. She would be the younger "Sally," her now-imprisoned sister the older "Sue." When I asked published poet/college professor Sally how she accounts for the differences between them, she said, "Sue was the risk-taker; I was the goody-two-shoes."

Granted. But whence came the larger differences? Will? Personality? Temperament? Genes? All the above? Yes. But I'm not sure it's the whole story. "Tis a puzzlement," as the King told Anna.

What say you? If so inclined, please click on "comments." That should open a space for you to leave an enlightening word or two. God knows we all could use it!